Happy Friday birdies!
What better way to kick your weekend off right than a wardrobe remix?
This stylish fellow is my pal Drew. During the day Drew hooks veterans up with affordable housing. In his off-hours, he busies himself with his band, writing, working on his sure-to-be-great ushertainer character, Mr. Vegas, and basically, being awesome and awesomely funny. Also, he thrifts. And wears more polyester than anyone I’ve ever known.
Me: 1. First off, where’d you get all your outfit elements?
Drew: I got everything but socks and shoes from Unique Thrift Store in Crystal, probably while hungover and filled with hot dogs or White Castle from the night before. The shoes I bought from a JC Penny in Brooklyn Park where I got the floor pair and got an employee discount. Because they are high-end shoes made by the luxurious brand, Dockers, I have had to mangle the heel and yank out cardboard on the left shoe. The shoes are also made in Bangladesh, which I am angry about but lack the political insight to know precisely why. I have no idea where my socks came from. They may be stolen.
Me: Where would you wear this outfit?
Drew: I wore this outfit to work where people already think I am weird. Aside from that, this outfit would be best worn when you have to go pick your girlfriend up at her job at a daycare and you know you’ll have to talk to her boss (who suspects your girlfriend smokes weed). She will think you both are artists and excuse a lot of inexcusable behavior.
Me: What’s your favorite thrift store in the Twin Cities? Why?
Drew: I buy most of my shit from Unique, who don’t wash their clothes and I don’t either before wearing them. I have to sneeze a lot for a few wears and sometimes I hang the clothes outside. Sometimes you find cool things in the pockets like Burger King receipts from the ’80s or snotty/bloodied handkerchiefs with initials on them. Otherwise in Uptown, I’ll buy shoes and ties from Tatters and I’m really trying to talk myself into buying something from Corner Store.
Me: What trends are you hating right now? Loving?
Drew: I don’t care what most people are wearing because most people are boring. I do hate needless accessories like functionless scarves or belts that don’t do anything—fake “grandma & grandpa” glasses fall in this category, too. If you spent $150 getting them matched to your prescription, then it’s a little better.
I am stoked that everyone is getting tons of tattoos because pretty soon, no one will be able to feel cool or unique anymore. I also like any trends involving women that show skin or make them look silly, unless I’m driving. I totaled a car once after getting distracted by a girl. I have also totaled my life before after getting distracted by a girl.
Me: Any tips for successful thrifting?
Drew: If you’re a guy and you have the patience to dig through racks, get good at glancing at collars and finding distinct patterns. All I really want to wear is a bunch of flamboyant, attention-seeking garbage, so that’s typically not too hard for me. Also lower your standards in life. Buy shit with stains (unless they’re sweat stains) and holes on it, because it doesn’t matter. Check every button up shirt for missing buttons. Make sure you have friends who are girls who will fix and mend stuff for you, unless you’re actually a considerate and intelligent person and can learn how to sew yourself.
Me: How do you keep your look fresh and memorable?
Drew: Rip-off stereotypes, mainstream or off-beat. Dress like a ’70s detective or like you’re taking your daughter to prom. People like shit that they can recognize and they will giggle and be impressed if you can do it well. If you’re wearing something that clashes, wear something else that clashes with all of that. Hurt people with how you look. Be confident and quietly insist to yourself that you know what you’re doing and people will loudly compliment you as they assume you operate on a higher plane.
Me: What’s your favorite classic rock album.
Drew: Pink Floyd’s “A Saucerful of Secrets”
Me: What are you excited about this spring?
Drew: Quantum Leaping and crashing a car shaped like a swordfish into a Cloud Cult audience.
Okay, Cloud Cult fans, consider yourself warned.
If you’d like to have your thrifty style featured, email me!
Do you all have lovely weekends planned? I sure hope so! I’ve been knocked flat this week by a double ear/sinus infection, so I’m hoping to catch up on lots of things, namely tidying up the house, grocery shopping, pretty-thing making (perhaps maybe this?) and sleep. Anyway, until next time…
P.S. Happy birthday brother!
I love you like duh!